5 Reasons You Don't Have to be "Broken" to go to Therapy

By, Meghan Taylor, LCSW

Studies are finding that more and more Americans are likely to agree with the statement that everyone can benefit from talk therapy, allowing mental healthcare to be viewed in a more favorable light.

Yet for some reason, when it came to my own experience of considering talk therapy, I found myself feeling as though I wasn’t suffering enough to really need it. Even though I am a mental health therapist and advocate, I didn’t feel deserving of treatment.

I began to think about all of the people that, like me, might be feeling as if they aren’t suffering enough to deserve mental health treatment. The truth is, while we have come a long way in terms of normalizing discussions and media images about mental health, there is still so much work to be done in order to remove the stigma and implicit bias that commonly surrounds it.

Approximately 51.5 million Americans seek mental health services every year, yet there’s still this idea that therapy is only for people who are suffering a debilitating mental illness or personal issue- or that people who go to therapy are broken in some way. As someone who has experienced both sides of the couch, I can attest that this couldn’t be further from the truth.

So, if you’re like me and you could use a little push to talk to someone, here are 5 reasons you don’t have to be “broken” to go to therapy:

1. Accountability. This is, by far, one of the most important reasons I continue to see a therapist. The world is made up of such vastly different people with all kinds of different experiences and perceptions. Therapy is the perfect place to explore those perspectives and how they affect our behaviors. A really great therapist will give you compassionate, honest, and realistic feedback when needed, and push you to grow in areas that may be difficult to acknowledge on your own. My therapist is constantly challenging me to dig deeper to understand those around me, and I have become a much better therapist, friend, daughter, and sister because of it.

2. Self-Care and Stress Reduction. I know, I know. Buzz words, right? But they’re only thrown around so often because they really are that important. Self-care isn’t all bubble baths and solitude. Therapy can act as that opportunity for introspection that we all need to be able to identify ways that we can take better care of ourselves. My therapist has referred to many of our sessions as my “check engine light”. Our sessions serve as an opportunity for me to sit, be, and reflect on what it is that I need. It provides the space necessary, if even for just an hour a week, for me to be able to hush the responsibilities waiting for me outside of that door and put that energy into myself.

3. Self- Exploration. Talking with a therapist can provide the opportunity to reflect on thoughts, behaviors, and actions- and how those do or do not line up with your definition of a fulfilling life. I, like many women today, struggle with perfectionism. Exploring, with my therapist, how perfectionism affects my life has allowed me to relinquish that constant need for control in an uncontrollable world- but that’s not even the best part. I have learned that perfectionism wasn’t something about me that needed to be “fixed”. Instead, my therapist has helped me find, appreciate, and hone in on the strengths that come along with that aspect of myself. Self-growth doesn’t always mean you need to change. Knowing what it is that makes you tick- now that’s powerful.

4. Decision Making. For the same reasons as self-exploration, therapy can be a time and place that allows us all to explore different decisions we need to make throughout our lifespan. This can be a decision to move, to enter or exit a relationship of any kind, to take or leave a job, etc. For as long as I can remember, I have been told to just “trust my gut”. But what happens if I don’t understand what my gut is telling me, or I don’t know myself well enough to believe I can trust my gut? Therapy has given me the opportunity to become better attuned to my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that drive my intuition. I not only am constantly getting to know myself better, but I am becoming more and more confident in the decisions I have to make in order to get to where I want to be.

5. Unbiased Support. How many times have you tried to talk to friends or family about something that was concerning you, but you held back to keep from burdening them, or because you were nervous about the response you might get? Anyone who cares about us is going to be emotionally charged in their response to our experiences in life. Yet sometimes we need a sounding board that can provide unbiased and unemotional advice. Your therapist is not your friend, nor should they be. Instead, therapists help you sift through different experiences without any personal attachment. It’s an interesting experience to talk to someone who you don’t have to make like you. This is NOT something I have ever been used to (remember, true perfectionist here). In fact, it took me a few months to stop trying to impress my therapist by anticipating what she might say. Eventually though, I built trust with my therapist. She waited me out with true patience and unconditional support. She gave me the space to ease myself in to my imperfections without fear of repercussion, which has taught me how to have that compassion for myself. How freeing that has been!

While therapy can help treat serious problems, it has the potential to support growth as well as ease suffering. Therapy puts you in the driver’s seat of your own life, allowing space to reorient towards personal growth in the context of a supportive and non-judgmental relationship. At LexCounseling, we have multiple clinicians that are passionate about helping everyone experience the benefits of therapy first hand. Our clinicians are currently offering telehealth sessions and accept a variety of insurances. Check out a list of the insurances we are currently able to accept here and call
859-457-1262 if you’ve been considering seeking support.

You deserve it.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day and Allyship

By, Melanie Rivard, LCSW

Fifty three years after his assassination, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy is still relevant five decades after his untimely death. As Black Lives Matter protests continue throughout the world, all of us are being called to continue Dr. King’s work and take action against racism, systemic oppression, and excessive police brutality toward Black people. LexCounseling stands with the Black community. In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and in response to the continued violence and discrimination toward Black lives, here is a list of actions we can take as allies.

· Recognize and acknowledge racism still exists – As clearly illustrated by many different current events, such as the militarized response to BLM protests versus the privilege extended to those who recently stormed our capital, racism is alive and well. Non-Black communities must be willing to face the atrocities and listen without becoming defensive. Instead, it is important that non-Black people advocate both on a political and a personal level for people of color. Non-Black allies must develop curiosity around the history of racism, and conduct their own work to learn how they can help today.

· Listen – Black people have endured centuries of violence and systemic racism. When people of color discuss their experiences with racism and systemic oppression, it is necessary to listen and empower those voices- rather than deny them, talk over them, or ask them to do the emotional labor of explaining racism.

· Self-Reflect – As uncomfortable as it may be, take time to analyze and reflect on your own biases and implicit and explicit contributions to racism. What microaggressions, no matter how innocently intended, contribute to making Black people uncomfortable? If you are unsure, check out this article: https://www.vox.com/2015/2/16/8031073/what-are-microaggressions.

· Learn the history of racism – From the first arrival of Africans by boat in America in 1619 to the War on Drugs and beyond, racism continues to infiltrate our daily lives. The physical and emotional traumas endured by Black people include slavery, kidnapping, family separation, beatings, murders, unfair imprisonment, the school to prison pipeline, and many other forms of oppression spanning generations. Educating yourself on the history of racism will reveal just how deeply it is ingrained in our present society and why the current movement matters.

· Diversify – Commit to sharing educational resources on social media to increase visibility and encourage conversation. Make Black friends and support Black people, issues, businesses, and projects. Expand your media choices such as books, movies, and music to include Black voices.

· Speak out – Whenever and wherever you see racism, speak out! Casual and blatant racism is not to be tolerated. It may be uncomfortable to call out friends and family, but we must send the message that racism is never acceptable. Silence is complicity.

· Get involved – Attend protests, write to your legislators, make phone calls, donate to Black causes. Every effort contributes to bettering Black lives.

According to NobelPrize.org, “Between 1957 and 1968, Martin Luther King, Jr. traveled over six million miles and spoke over twenty-five hundred times, appearing wherever there was injustice, protest, and action.” Today and every day, may we all be more like Martin Luther King, Jr. and have the boldness to speak up, speak out, and take action against racism and inequality.

Tips From A Therapist: Goal Setting

By, Ellen Wieger, LCSW

This is probably the most common week to reflect on our accomplishments for the year and set our sights on new goals.  In a COVID-free world, our gyms would be flooded with goal-setters looking to do better in 2021.  This has certainly not been the year we planned on, in December 2019, so this is an amazing week to regroup and set some new intentions for the year to come. 

 Now, how do you actually set a goal that is achievable?  That’s the real work, right?  In our education and training to become a therapist, SMART goals are hammered into our brains.  This stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Based.  I’m going to let you into my life a little and walk you through a goal I would like to set for myself. 

Step 1, Specific: Laundry…it is my downfall.  I let it pile up until I am too overwhelmed to face it.  So, let’s start with Specific.  Instead of, “I will do better with laundry,” I am setting a goal to do laundry three days a week: including washing, drying, and putting it away.  There we have it – goal specified, and I know exactly what I am aiming for this year. 

 Step 2, Measurable: Experts on goal setting may notice that I already laid the groundwork for that.  I want to do the laundry three days per week.  Let’s make it even more measurable.  I will do at least one load of laundry, three days per week; including washing, drying, and putting it away.

Step 3, Attainable:  If I said that I would hire a maid service to come in and complete the laundry, that would not be attainable for me.  I know I am capable of doing my own laundry, but I also know that my schedule doesn’t allow for daily laundry.  (Anyone wondering why I have so much laundry? Keep in mind that I have a nine-week-old puppy at the moment and I often spill my coffee walking up the stairs.) 

 Step 4, Relevant: Keeping it relevant is so important.  If I set a goal to manage my commute better by listening to continuing education recordings, how would that help with my laundry? Besides, I don’t even have a commute - unless you count my trips up and down the stairs where I spill my coffee. 

And finally Step 5, Time-Based:  I plan to revisit this goal in one month and evaluate my progress.  Setting a goal for 12 months is an easy way to fail; I need a more immediate satisfaction of achieving the goal.  If I am still struggling, I will have room to adjust and make success more likely.  If I succeed, I can set a new goal to focus on. 

  I will also add in some incentives and rewards for myself.  I like to pair a non-preferred task like laundry with a favorite TV show or podcast.  I also find a calm, clean bedroom a built-in reward for completing this task.  So, once you make your SMART goal, find some ways to boost your motivation, and engage yourself in the task.  And don’t forget, CELEBRATE your accomplishments and use your momentum to set your new goal.

With a new year comes new opportunities and new beginnings. Instead of setting resolutions that can be hard to maintain, try picking and implementing new and attainable goals that work for YOU!