Approximately 51.5 million Americans seek mental health services every year, yet there’s still this idea that therapy is only for people who are suffering a debilitating mental illness or personal issue- or that people who go to therapy are broken in some way. As someone who has experienced both sides of the couch, I can attest that this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Martin Luther King Jr. Day and Allyship
By, Melanie Rivard, LCSW
Fifty three years after his assassination, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy is still relevant five decades after his untimely death. As Black Lives Matter protests continue throughout the world, all of us are being called to continue Dr. King’s work and take action against racism, systemic oppression, and excessive police brutality toward Black people. LexCounseling stands with the Black community. In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and in response to the continued violence and discrimination toward Black lives, here is a list of actions we can take as allies.
· Recognize and acknowledge racism still exists – As clearly illustrated by many different current events, such as the militarized response to BLM protests versus the privilege extended to those who recently stormed our capital, racism is alive and well. Non-Black communities must be willing to face the atrocities and listen without becoming defensive. Instead, it is important that non-Black people advocate both on a political and a personal level for people of color. Non-Black allies must develop curiosity around the history of racism, and conduct their own work to learn how they can help today.
· Listen – Black people have endured centuries of violence and systemic racism. When people of color discuss their experiences with racism and systemic oppression, it is necessary to listen and empower those voices- rather than deny them, talk over them, or ask them to do the emotional labor of explaining racism.
· Self-Reflect – As uncomfortable as it may be, take time to analyze and reflect on your own biases and implicit and explicit contributions to racism. What microaggressions, no matter how innocently intended, contribute to making Black people uncomfortable? If you are unsure, check out this article: https://www.vox.com/2015/2/16/8031073/what-are-microaggressions.
· Learn the history of racism – From the first arrival of Africans by boat in America in 1619 to the War on Drugs and beyond, racism continues to infiltrate our daily lives. The physical and emotional traumas endured by Black people include slavery, kidnapping, family separation, beatings, murders, unfair imprisonment, the school to prison pipeline, and many other forms of oppression spanning generations. Educating yourself on the history of racism will reveal just how deeply it is ingrained in our present society and why the current movement matters.
· Diversify – Commit to sharing educational resources on social media to increase visibility and encourage conversation. Make Black friends and support Black people, issues, businesses, and projects. Expand your media choices such as books, movies, and music to include Black voices.
· Speak out – Whenever and wherever you see racism, speak out! Casual and blatant racism is not to be tolerated. It may be uncomfortable to call out friends and family, but we must send the message that racism is never acceptable. Silence is complicity.
· Get involved – Attend protests, write to your legislators, make phone calls, donate to Black causes. Every effort contributes to bettering Black lives.
According to NobelPrize.org, “Between 1957 and 1968, Martin Luther King, Jr. traveled over six million miles and spoke over twenty-five hundred times, appearing wherever there was injustice, protest, and action.” Today and every day, may we all be more like Martin Luther King, Jr. and have the boldness to speak up, speak out, and take action against racism and inequality.
Tips From A Therapist: Goal Setting
By, Ellen Wieger, LCSW
This is probably the most common week to reflect on our accomplishments for the year and set our sights on new goals. In a COVID-free world, our gyms would be flooded with goal-setters looking to do better in 2021. This has certainly not been the year we planned on, in December 2019, so this is an amazing week to regroup and set some new intentions for the year to come.
Now, how do you actually set a goal that is achievable? That’s the real work, right? In our education and training to become a therapist, SMART goals are hammered into our brains. This stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Based. I’m going to let you into my life a little and walk you through a goal I would like to set for myself.
Step 1, Specific: Laundry…it is my downfall. I let it pile up until I am too overwhelmed to face it. So, let’s start with Specific. Instead of, “I will do better with laundry,” I am setting a goal to do laundry three days a week: including washing, drying, and putting it away. There we have it – goal specified, and I know exactly what I am aiming for this year.
Step 2, Measurable: Experts on goal setting may notice that I already laid the groundwork for that. I want to do the laundry three days per week. Let’s make it even more measurable. I will do at least one load of laundry, three days per week; including washing, drying, and putting it away.
Step 3, Attainable: If I said that I would hire a maid service to come in and complete the laundry, that would not be attainable for me. I know I am capable of doing my own laundry, but I also know that my schedule doesn’t allow for daily laundry. (Anyone wondering why I have so much laundry? Keep in mind that I have a nine-week-old puppy at the moment and I often spill my coffee walking up the stairs.)
Step 4, Relevant: Keeping it relevant is so important. If I set a goal to manage my commute better by listening to continuing education recordings, how would that help with my laundry? Besides, I don’t even have a commute - unless you count my trips up and down the stairs where I spill my coffee.
And finally Step 5, Time-Based: I plan to revisit this goal in one month and evaluate my progress. Setting a goal for 12 months is an easy way to fail; I need a more immediate satisfaction of achieving the goal. If I am still struggling, I will have room to adjust and make success more likely. If I succeed, I can set a new goal to focus on.
I will also add in some incentives and rewards for myself. I like to pair a non-preferred task like laundry with a favorite TV show or podcast. I also find a calm, clean bedroom a built-in reward for completing this task. So, once you make your SMART goal, find some ways to boost your motivation, and engage yourself in the task. And don’t forget, CELEBRATE your accomplishments and use your momentum to set your new goal.
With a new year comes new opportunities and new beginnings. Instead of setting resolutions that can be hard to maintain, try picking and implementing new and attainable goals that work for YOU!